Saturday, November 16, 2019

The Power of Deliberate LIstening | Ronnie Polaneczky | TEDxPhiladelphia




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This Is The Kind of Listening That I Mean When I Say Be Heard + Be Taken Seriously! And...Don't Judge! I Think That The Hospital As Well As ALL Our Personal Relationships Could Be Positively Affected If We Listened With Compassionate Listening!   . 

Thursday, October 31, 2019

Tuesday, October 29, 2019

WILL The ''REAL'' F-word...PLEASE, STAND-UP!

Will The ''REAL''
F-word...Please, Stand Up.



CHARTER FOR COMPASSION


CLICK TO ENLARGE

---From the standpoint of behaviors, it makes sense that I would choose FRUSTRATION as my F-word of choice. I think I have made a case for it, and since we ALL seem to be flirting with being frustrated, it seems a viable choice.

---We, also, have FASCISM, to be part of the mix. If we take it broadly, we can define it as imposing our will on others. My way or the highway, comes to mind. The dictator, itself, could be the idea that things have to be done in a certain way...with some kind of violent repercussion, for those who don't cut it.

---The Catholic religion was taught that way to me...with Hell always hanging in the balance. I could ''earn,'' an eternity in Hell, for the slightest infraction. It was ALL so unreasonable. Fascism fits in here, somewhere. The misunderstanding of Love, has made God, Jesus and the Pope out to be dictators...with NO room for development. [Some of the popes, actually, acted the part, and greatly promoted the idea that God and Jesus were dictators, first. They never actually said that God, etc., were dictators, they just portrayed, taught and, I would say, believed this, themselves.] That is what happens to those who don't really understand LOVE. Everything tends to be FEAR BASED. That is when ALL the rules + policies...come out.

---I, myself, do not see life this way. I had to break my ties with the church to find out who I am...and to see what Jesus, et. al., were talking about, throughout the ages. I found that if one truly finds what LOVE is, himself, then he/she finds that many other interpretations are NOT necessary. BE LOVING, KIND + COMPASSIONATE. It is still the finest thing around.

---The truth, then, is NOT so complicated. In this way, we can see that the way Catholicism was taught to me, makes it to be another Fascism...and makes Fascism another F-word, I have had to deal with. The dictatorship of thought that I had to deal with, has created much of my FRUSTRATION. Eliminating one has eliminated the other. Take Care.





Saturday, September 21, 2019

HUMAN NEEDs Not Met!

HUMAN NEEDs Being Met!

---If we build a bridge, a building or a structure with shoddy materials and workmanship, eventually, it will come crashing down around itself. If anything is built without the proper foundation to withstand ALL that life will hurl at him or her...we will find ourselves in the same boat. I don’t think most folks realize the importance of being appreciated, being valued, loved, supported, cared for, being kind, etc. Without these BASIC HUMAN NEEDs being met, their lives are built with the same shoddy materials that will make lives (themselves) fall apart, eventually. These HUMAN NEEDs are the building blocks of human life. These are very, very necessary.
---To quote JK Rowling, the author of the ‘’Harry Potter Series,’’ rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life,’’ Before writing the Harry Potter Books, she wasn’t doing the kinds of things that helped get her needs met. That’s the boat that many of us are in. Many folks don’t realize that a life without the key elements of being valued, being appreciated, being supported, etc...are like building a structure or a bridge with shoddy material and/or workmanship that won’t be able to withstand the weight and endure all the things the structure itself will go through during its’ existence.  Really, it can’t do anything, BUT come crashing down around itself. A skyscraper built on sand, bridge abutments built in quicksand...will yield the same results.
---The recipe of life has a healthy portion of the ingredients of love, support, being valued, being appreciated and being kind in it. There is NO scrimping on the materials (ingredients or building blocks) necessary to create a good, solid individual able to withstand all that life throws at him or her. Any scrimping at any time will jeopardize the project AND will hasten the whole thing to fall apart. Each time he/she interacts with love, being valued, being appreciated or In other words – All the Right Stuff, that ‘Right Stuff’ includes ALL the construction equipment, too. The foundation ITSELF is strengthened and becomes more solid and as strong as it needs to be. Everything works better that way. Herein lies the rub - If these needs are not met...and met convincingly, then we are usually faced with an individual who is seeking to get these needs met. And, those things he gets himself addicted to as a substitute to these human needs being met, are sitting right-around-the-corner. We DON’T want to go down that road, again. We make sure we learn to accurately identify our real needs more clearly AND we now know how to get our needs met on a regular basis. There is no success at someone else's expense in the real world. We are ready to upgrade our lives in ways that benefit all we do and we find that we are very glad that we did. Be Well.

Monday, July 22, 2019

Saturday, June 29, 2019

A POSITIVE DEFINITION OF BADASS!

Badass - VERY POSITIVE: AUTHENTIC!

THIS MAY BE VERY EYE-OPENING TO SOME OF US.  IT MEANs TO BE OUR AUTHENTIC-SELVEs! 
A badass isn't someone who wears wears ripped leather jackets, a badass isn't someone who breaks stuff to look tough, and a badass isn't someone who fights for the fun of fighting. That's the definition of a poser. Being a badass is completely different. Don't confuse the two terms.

Unspoken Rules of Being Badass: 
1. First rule of being a badass. A badass does not talk about being a badass. Period.

2. Second rule of being a badass, a badass does not try to be a badass or look tough. A badass simply is a badass.

3. A badass stays true to themselves, always. This means being themselves for themselves, and not being fake to impress others.

4. A badass does not give up. Badasses will always push themselves for the better, no matter how hard it gets.

5. A badass is not a jerk. A badass does not prey on the weak, and shows kindness in return to those who are kind.

6. A badass knows his/her limits. Don't be stupid, you're not Superman, you'll die if you jump off a building.

7. A badass does not make enemies or go looking for fights. They do not fight fights that aren't worth fighting either.

Any breaking of these rules is grounds revoking of the status of being a badass. If this happens, a badass must once again prove they are worthy of being badass by following the rules. A badass can only be determined by the opinions of others

Sunday, June 2, 2019

PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY - GUEST: ABRAHAM MASLOW!


''We ALL Love One Another; We're Just Working Out The Details''


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---What do I mean when I say this? As a matter of fact I tell folks that this is my personal philosophy. It seems that it isn't as obvious to others as I thought.

---We must break it down a bit, first. We ALL love one another. That in itself seems ludicrous. I can give a list of people that I don't love...or CAN I? Let's go into this slowly. People usually give me a quick list of different world leaders who were the cause of much suffering, death + destruction. How can I possibly love them. They can be outraged at me for even suggesting that.

---I have to break it down a bit further. LOVE is treated as a FACT; NOT a FEELING! LOVE exists whether we feel it or not. Whether anyone feels it or not. LOVE is always present...potentially. To test this, be truly loving and kind in a situation and watch people respond to that. Or, when there is a cut or broken bone and it's allowed to heal after being set properly, it will. Doesn't the way we feel about how folks generally BEHAVE govern how we feel about the people themselves. We'd feel differently if instead of doing things that promote suffering, death and destruction...people fed all the folks that are hungry AND helped people get things they need while footing the bill in most cases. If folks behaved in a way that spread kindness and happiness, we would think very differently about things.  Well, that really is potentially there all-the-time! We just have to act on it.


---Unfortunately, most people BEHAVE in a way that reflects their ATTITUDE and hence, their VALUES - which then tend toward being self-oriented and greedy. People who act this way tend to be fearful of NOT having enough for themselves - hence are self-oriented and greedy. If they were able to see beyond their fears, they would see that having values of being kind to one another and brother + sister helping each other, because we are all in this together...gets more done and hence provides enough for all. Those crying out, ''what about me?'' haven't learned to be team players...yet! BUT, THEY CAN!

---A big problem that I see is this; folks for the most part are waiting to be loved and are not loving. They may think that they are, but self-concern and greed with saving face, runs the show. They are, usually, busy TRYING to get what they think their needs + preferences are, met. But, their method really is, usually self-concern and greed. This is ALL based on FEAR!

PEOPLE TEND TO USE A BACKWARDS APPROACH (THAT DOESN'T WORK):

---Because of this backwards approach (if you will,) folks end up waiting to be loved instead of being loving. And, when they do something loving or kind, they have some type of self-concern tied to it. I see this as being the real problem...but, that is, then, hence its solution.

---We must be TRULY loving for this process to work. If we wait around to be loved, FIRST and are NOT being loving –
 we then have the process backwards. If we wait to feel love first, we just MAY wait forever (a long, long time.) You will wait as long as it takes for you to learn that it works the other way. AND...THAT IS WHAT MOST OF US ARE DOING!


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---''To FEEL LOVE, YOU MUST BE LOVING.'' The other way doesn't work. It is like waiting to be perfect before you act. It is one thing to get your act together, but waiting to be perfect FIRST will not work. Too many semantics and interpretations to concern yourself with before you can declare that that has indeed happened AND you are now perfect. (Ask your mother, wife or sister to weigh-in on the subject...if you are getting too full of yourself.) Husbands, in general, if smart...won't answer that or just will not truthfully know what you're talking about.

---The second half of that statement - working out the details...comes into play in the fact that many, many have still got it BACKWARDs and COMPLAIN  so much and so loudly and wonder why it doesn't work? Some folks have a lot invested in its being the other (wrong) way AND they belligerently insist that it does indeed work the other (wrong) way...even when they may NOT realize what it is that they are really doing. 



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---Folks go to war over the fact that they have this backwards...instead of simply realizing that they must love first. Many relationships go sour, because of faulty logic. A lot of time is spent on trying to see eye-to-eye before love is even considered. Then the next thing you know it becomes an eye-for-an-eye! That, once again is CONDITIONAL LOVE and NOT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Instead of being loving...you love only those that see things as you do. The DETAILS are KILLING US in this way.


CLICK THOUGHTOON!


Love has to be treated as a FACT...NOT JUST A FEELING. Act accordingly. 
Be Well.

The saying now changes to:
''We ALL Love One Another; we are simply + gently working out the details''

Friday, May 31, 2019

NICOLE EMMA - TEDtalk ''CREATING ALPHA MALEs''

GROWING MACHO MEN

---I was listening to a woman speaking on a TEDtalk. She said something I found interesting. The very way that we treat little boys growing up in our society is to ‘’man up, toughen up, don’t be a sissy, real men don’t cry, etc.’’ We teach them that it is NOT alright for a male to cry…to have feelings, to NOT be tough or to make mistakes. If the feeling to cry comes to him, to be a man, he must learn to suppress that feeling and sublimate the feeling into a not crying situation. She said that this statement, this dynamic, is directly responsible for the violence that we are facing in our communities.



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---I am very interested in what she is saying. It supports much of what we have been talking about. There was a saying that she used that I never heard before. She heard a former NFL player use this expression. ‘’Boys who can't cry, shoot bullets.’’

---We certainly can see that one can’t get his needs met if he keeps them so hidden. We have to get our music out while it is still music.

1.     People need connection with one another.
2.     We are all designed to find our tribe.
3.     We all need one person who sees who we are…and loves us UNCONDITIONALLY.
4.  Some men believe their manhood or value is in their muscles, money or mojo.
5.     Some men wear a mask (not themselves) to protect themselves from shaming or criticism usually from other men.

---Please listen to video yourself BELOW. She makes a lot of sense.

Wednesday, May 29, 2019

PSYCHOLOGY 101 - HUMAN NEEDs!


PSYCHOLOGY - HUMAN NEEDs

1.     HUMAN NEEDs (MASLOW HIERARCHY of NEEDs) – Being Appreciated, Being Accepted, Being Understood, Being Loved, Being Valued, Being Treated Kindly, Being Supported, Being Cared For, etc. These are the very needs we ALL have...including YOU + ME.

2.     WEST SIDE STORY (Officer Krupke) – Deprived and Depraved. If one is DEPRIVED of his needs being met…he acts DEPRAVED (negative in some way.) Argumentative to Violent. Nip it in the bud!



3.     The more deprived that one is in getting his/her HUMAN NEEDs met, the more depraved (negative) he/she will act. 

4.     The less deprived that one is in getting his/her HUMAN NEEDs met, the less depraved (negative) he/she will act. 

5.     All needs that someone may have can be traced back (root-cause) to his need for love and understanding, etc. ‘’Pay ATTENTION to me. Could be his/her need to be loved and accepted.’’



MEET PEOPLE'S NEEDs

Monday, May 20, 2019

ABE MASLOW - The HUMAN NEEDs!

The HUMAN NEEDs of Which People are DEPRIVED!

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---I don’t think folks realize the importance of being appreciated, being valued, loved, supported, cared for, etc. Folks don’t realize that a life without these key elements is like building a structure or a bridge with shoddy material and/or workmanship that won’t be able to withstand the weight and endurance the structure itself will go through during its’ existence. Eventually, it will come crashing down around itself.


CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---If we try to build a HUMAN life with shoddy materials and workmanship (the key elements that we spoke of in the last paragraph,) we, also, will be faced with a being who is shattered before his time unable to withstand the hurdles and pitfalls that come his/her way.

---The recipe of life has a healthy portion of the ingredients of love, support, being valued and being appreciated in it. There is NO scrimping on the materials (ingredients) necessary to create a good solid individual able to withstand all that life throws at him or her. Each time he/she interacts with love, being valued and being appreciated…the foundation ITSELF is strengthened and becomes more solid and stronger than it once was.



---Human needs are love, support, being valued and being appreciated. Self-knowledge, self-worth, self-esteem fit in there somewhere, also. If you treat everyone with KINDNESS all-the-time, then I'm sure that you do your part. BUT...herein lies the big rub - If these needs are not met convincingly, then we are usually faced with an individual who is seeking to get these needs met. He seems almost consumed with these needs. Addiction is NOT lurking too far away. When the HUMAN NEEDs are met, he then is ready to move up along Abraham Maslow's pyramid. Be Kind!.



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Sunday, April 14, 2019

Saturday, March 23, 2019

Tuesday, January 1, 2019