STAY POSITIVE!

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

 

IMPORTANT: MEETING REAL NEEDS!

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

 

''It ONLY MATTERS, If YOU MIND!'' - Mind Over Matter - Self-Acceptance

THIS IS MY LATEST YOUTUBE

SLIDESHOW/VIDEO

''It ONLY MATTERS, If YOU MIND!''

Mind Over Matter Self-Acceptance

Published - (August, 2021)

 

HOW, WHY and WHEN WILL I FEEL LOVED?

THIS IS MY LATEST SLIDESHOW/VIDEO

''HOW, WHY and WHEN WILL I FEEL LOVED?''

(8/15/21)

 

STEPHEN HAWKING - DISABILITY QUOTES!

MY LATEST SLIDESHOW/VIDEO

''STEPHEN HAWKING - DISABILITY QUOTES''

(8/6/21)

 

''YOUR ONLY RIVAL IS YOUR OWN POTENTIAL'' - ABE MASLOW

MY LATEST SLIDESHOW/VIDEO

''YOUR ONLY RIVAL IS YOUR OWN POTENTIAL'' -

ABE MASLOW - (8/2/21)

GET YOUR NEEDS MET...ABE MASLOW!

THIS IS MY LATEST SLIDESHOW/VIDEO

''GET YOUR NEEDS MET...ABE MASLOW''

Pub. 7/17/21

 

EDEN ALTERNATIVE - DR. BILL HARRIS

 

EDEN ALTERNATIVE

DR. BILL THOMAS

EDEN ALTERNATIVE I

WEDNESDAY

• BRAINSTORM: Nothing is framed wrong. One is just looking for the next BEST answer.

• When taking picture, noticed that best light comes from within…when person is first acknowledged.

• Residents/Staff can be ‘’diamonds in the rough.’’

• Loneliness, helplessness and boredom are three moods NOT fixable w/medication.

• Care Partner is a better term than Caregiver.

THURSDAY

• There is NO ramp for dementia (POIGNANT)

• We have let meds be our master. If we get our foot caught in a bear trap we would probably give a Tylenol or stronger for the pain...instead of taking off the trap. (POIGNANT)

FRIDAY

• Be The Change That You See

• Staff Is Kept Happy With Positive Feedback – Not By Being Told Don’t...Constantly.

• EDEN PHILOSOPHY IS NOT A PLACE - IT'S A MINDSET

• Listen and Hear the Resident. You May Actually Want To Hear Some of What He/She Has To Say.

Antidotes

• Loneliness – Loving Companionship

• Boredom – Do things you enjoy and access to children, plants and animals

• Helplessness – Do something for another

LAGUNA HONDA had people from the EDEN ALTERNATIVE come and speak to us and present to the staff/residents at LHH. Here are my notes from the three day event.

COMMENTARIES ON LIVING SERIES BOOK 1 - J. KRISHNAMURTI

 

http://selfdefinition.org/krishnamurti/Jiddu_Krishnamurt_Commentaries_On_Living_1.pdf

---This is probably the best book I ever read. It was in the 1970's when I read many of Krishnamurti's books. As with many of his books, I found it very eye-opening. It was one of the many things that happened to me in the 1970's that turned my life around.

---The book is made up of 1 or 2 page explanations of what Krishnamurti has found life to be. It is very clear and to the point. I was fascinated with how crystal clear his vision was. I had never read anything like it. And that goes to this day. 

---My recommendation is to read a few pages to see if you agree. To further test my observation, find a two pager that pertains to you. I think you will agree that you never read a book like this. I'll bet that crystal clear and to the point will be in your mind somewhere. I think that you'll find yourself wanting to read more. Enjoy...!

ANXIETY: STOP NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

RECOMMEND

MUST SEE!

SEEMA SEHLAG MD.

(WATCH in CHUNKS...IF NEED BE THE CASE!)

CHI, GOD-FORCE, VIRIDITAS, GOLDEN BUDDHA WITHIN...REFERS TO MUCH THE SAME THING!

 

DECISION-MAKING SKILLS!

Decisions FOR or Decisions WITH

---There once were two brothers, who were very different. The big difference that was quite noticeable was that one of the brothers had decisions made for him, for the most part...while the other brother made his own decisions, for the most part.

---The brother who had his decisions all made for him never seemed to develop the ability to make decisions. When left to his own devices, which wasn't often, the poor guy wouldn't know what to do. If the truth be told...he did NOT know himself very well. The repercussions of decisions he made, which weren't many, made many people angry, also.

---The brother who made his own decisions was much more self-possessed and, through trial and error, learned what worked and what didn't. He easily took responsibility for decisions he made, and, if truth be told, most were sound, anyway.

---The brother who made decisions was easier to work with as giving his opinion was an easy thing to do. The brother who did not make decisions, was easily led. He was a sheep in need of a shepherd.

---If we truly are to rehabilitate people, I think that it is extremely valuable to pay attention to the decision-making skills of people we are making well. As would be with any member of the PANE CLINIC...we must be sure that a rehabilitated person is seeing with clarity. With a clearer vision, he is, now, ready and equipped with the tools to make decisions that are solid and building of a brighter future. 

---Those rehabbed in this way learn to make good decisions and learn ways that prevent him from easily being sucked back into a life of disease, illness, pain and hopelessness. Their lives may improve and then may positively affect many lives...accordingly. Be Well.

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

PANE CLINIC - To clear up ones vision and visibility. To see oneself better and to ultimately increase self-knowledge. To ''promote'' kindness.

BLAME DOES NOT WORK...IN THE LONG RUN!

 

LIST FOR BLAMERS (CLICK)
GOOGLE IMAGES - BLAME (CLICK)

BLAME

---Blame is one of those things that happens MUCH too often. It usually rears its’ head when something we are responsible for isn’t as good as it’s as it is thought it is suppose to be. The ball has been dropped.  NEGATIVE FEEDBACK starts to fly and the EXCUSES come out. The FINGERs start pointing. We usually, then, go the whole 9 yards (if necessary) BLAMING whomever is necessary to make ourselves look good. We SAVE FACE. An old friend that I think is responsible for much that is wrong with the world. We get defensive and then we SAVE FACE. We throw whomever we deem necessary under the bus to exonerate ourselves from any responsibility (blame.)  I would like to say here that even with all of this going on…if there is any credit left on the table we do our best to SCOOP THAT UP.

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

 ---We usually admit that we may have done something wrong only as a last resort. At present we seem to get very stuck on who is to blame and his/her other obvious faults that have allowed the follow through and resolution to slip away. Somehow identifying where the blame lies AND who is to be hanged in effigy takes precedence over finding a remedy to the problem. By lowering the bar on most fronts gives us spare time to deservedly berate who he or she is that deserves the blame in our mind. The person being blamed ends up looking so faulty that it is amazing that his input was so necessary in the first place and that he was even allowed to be on the team.

 ---Instead of everyone blaming everyone, we just recognize how rampart it runs and that in general people aren’t very responsible. They are very good at saving face taking credit for things that make them look good. But, folks just can’t basically handle being blamed (taking responsibility.) People will throw MOM under the bus sometimes if things are getting too bad. We have to learn – People Don’t Always HAVE TO Look Perfect. One learns THROUGH trial and error. Man makes mistakes on the way to learning and more/less on a regular basis. The more difficult we make it to make a mistake the more difficult we make learning itself. I really think that we should reevaluate our attitude to mistake making, taking responsibility, blame, saving face and lightening-up on the whole thing. It is a way that we keep the game and the players in a constant state of check. The only way out is to face embarrassment. Folks do toughen up through this procedure AND they learn valuable life lessons, but usually try to avoid this at all costs. 

---If we have learned anything from the many sex scandals we are seeing, everything has a way of coming back. I think it behooves us to put things in order. It behooves us to own up and take responsibility for what we have done. We have all made mistakes in many different fields. There is nobody who is exempt from this. Remember that it is always worse thinking about facing something than the actual facing of it. The verdict is in and we are ALL GUILTY of something or other. We should stop whatever negative things we may be doing. As a response to all this…WE GROW! WE LEARN! Eventually…we are propelled to higher levels when all the pain/discomfort we caused…is resolved.  We begin again and STOP being pulled back down. Be accountable and take responsibility. Let's forgive one another AND be kind. Be Well.

THIS IS WHAT THE STATE SURVEYORS DON'T SEEM TO KNOW - LONG TERM CARE!

 

The FOCUS GROUP – FEB. 27, 2018.

REPUBLISHED

---Today we had a focus group for the long-term residents. I am glad that we had an opportunity to speak our minds. I would like to see us have more groups like this. I don’t think we even scratched the surface as to what we could have said. In my own case…I would have done better if I had more time.

WHAT I MEANT TO CONVEY:

---A woman mentioned that she enjoyed the groups that she goes to. I followed her statement with the fact that we should actually have more groups to learn different things. My answer was NOT to the point.

---I meant to say that we should have many more groups that convey SELF- KNOWLEDGE and SELF-WORTH. We should have more groups concerned with REAL REHABILITATION as I see it. We should be concerned with teaching the resident/patient how to know him/her-self. Since we are concerned with sending people into the society/community, it behooves us to equip those individuals with REASONs TO SAY NO. We do NOT WANT folks to fall into the same addictive patterns…so he becomes re-addicted. We need to teach those who are on this track to learn GREATER SELF-WORTH so they are able to say NO to things that re-addict them and cause them to re-enter the addiction system ...and mean it. If we get to the root cause before this happens, we may nip in the bud and keep the RESIDENT/PATIENT from having to deal with another malady stemming from the same root cause that was responsible for his/her entering the system this time. The root cause is usually much the same in each case.

Promotes Independence

---Or, it may be very worthwhile to help the patient discover what it is that really  gives him/her fulfillment. Then we could help him/her to actually learn to implement meeting those needs he has discovered. We would be doing a great service NOT only to the patient who learns this skill, but to the people who are his victim, so to speak. If he doesn't find something productive, he'll wander from pillar to post trying to find something to fill all the extra time that he seems to have, all the while, looking for these VERY ANSWERS and cause some kind of ruckus. In the long run, we could teach the Resident/Patient how to get his/her needs met...and NOT rely on the system or others to do things that he is able to do for himself. If we are able to teach folks to be self-reliant, in this way we promote independence. And...to boot, he will be much happier!

 -– With love and understanding and some SELF-KNOWLEDGE, we hope to teach the Resident/Patient how to make better and more LIFE AFFIRMING DECISIONS. MORE LATER…

---This Is What I CONVEYED To The People From The State In April 2021.  I Am NOT Sure What They Took Away.  A REPRINT!

GAMES PEOPLE PLAY - INNER CIRCLE

 

GAMES PEOPLE PLAY - INNER CIRCLE

FACE YOURSELF and AVOID ADDICTION!

 The BIG CHEESE of ADDICTION -

NOT FACING YOURSELF!

FACING YOURSELF BECOMES THE PROCESS of

SELF - ACCEPTANCE!

---The REASON for all addiction is the inability to face ourselves and our alleged shortcomings. If we feel we are doing better than the others, than we may feel we don’t usually have a problem. Actually, we usually have no trouble taking or sharing in the credit for something deemed good. But when we have to face up to something deemed negative that we may find ourselves associated, This is when our heartaches begin.

---Taking credit is not the problem when something positive is happening. The problem will show itself when we become associated with something negative. The problem is not when we face up to what  went down and honestly admit the part that we played in all of it. The problem is that now we have activated the flight response. Fight or Flight? Instead of facing up to the situation...we want to run. When we run, we basically say or do anything that dissociates us with what went down...even when we are caught red-handed with our hand in the cookie jar. RUNNING FROM REALITY, THEN DENYING IT... IS WHERE THE ADDICTION IS BORN!.

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---We RUN. Suddenly, we learn we can involve ourselves with being a bit negative and things that takes us from being in the spotlight and NOT feeling as connected as we once did. We even can learn to face looking negative in the eyes of another, but when we realize that someone has been hurt because of something we’ve done...that can be new territory and hard to swallow. We may find ourselves on a road we are not used to. AND/BUT, NOW we have a new tool (drink, drugs or whatever distraction we use to newly keep us from facing ourselves.) It is fast becoming our crutch to help us run, and RUN WE DO. WE ARE STILL RUNNING FROM FACING OURSELVES...BUT, WITH A CRUTCH THAT WILL NEED REPLACING, SOON!

---Looking bad was never the issue, but now it is. A downward spiral has been introduced. We used to easily avoid this but now we say and/or do anything that prevents ourselves from looking bad. Or, at best REALLY BAD! This new cycle has now become our daily routine. We know that it sucks, but our crutch still eases the tension that is at times...the pain. That is when prison as a possibility can come into play. We get off of the stage as soon as possible. We NOW seem to have trouble telling the truth. Saving face and dishonesty are the norm. Folks hide in the shadows, disguising themselves to NOT be recognized for who they are.

---If we STOP RUNNING at anytime...we do ourselves a great favor. I am NOT going to sugarcoat it and say it is always easy! But it is possible. AND, IT IS ALWAYS REWARDING! This is the path that will lead back HOME, again...maybe for the first time

WE ARE ADDICTED TO RUNNING FROM OURSELVES and NOT FACING UP TO WHAT WE DO. WE DO NOT LIKE TO SHINE IN THIS BAD LIGHT! WE WANT TO SHINE IN A GOOD LIGHT! SADLY, WE SAY/DO ALMOST ANYTHING THAT TAKES THE BLAME OFF OF US and PLACES IT ELSEWHERE...IN THIS SITUATION. LEARN TO FACE YOURSELF...IT TRULY IS MUCH EASIER and FAR MORE REWARDING...EVENTUALLY. THIS IS THE PATH TO THE GOLDEN BUDDHA - WITHIN US ALL!

GOLDEN BUDDHA See ''FINDING JOE'' (BELOW)

WE ARE ALL ADDICTED...SOMEWHERE!

 

AVOIDING FACING YOURSELF -
The ''HEAD HONCHO'' 
of ALL ADDICTION!

---The Major Addiction for me was my left-hand. For those who aren’t aware of this: I was born missing four fingers on my left-hand. My learning to deal with how I felt about my hand taught me much of what Leo (below) speaks about in the video. I learned much about ADDICTION and LIFE, ITSELF, in the process.

---Everything that distracts one from facing him/her-self…is the addiction. The substance one addicts himself to is just the distracting tool one uses to do this. By hiding my hand in my pocket, I was addicted to people NOT seeing me as less than perfect. I was addicted to people NOT knowing the real me. After-all, they may not like me if they did.

---To make a long story short…the more one is himself, the more one is quiet within, the more present one is. When one understands what ADDICTION really is, and how it plagues many different aspects of our lives, one can then understand what he, himself, and many others do most of the time. People, for the most part - The ''HEAD HONCHO'' of ALL ADDICTION - AVOID FACING THEMSELVES!

ROOT CAUSE of ALL ADDICTION!

The ''HEAD HONCHO'' 

of ALL ADDICTION!

ABRAHAM MASLOW - ''IMPORTANCE of MEETING HUMAN NEEDS''

  The HUMAN NEEDs of Which People are DEPRIVED!

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---I don’t think folks realize the importance of being appreciated, being valued, loved, supported, cared for, etc. Folks don’t realize that a life without these key elements is like building a structure or a bridge with shoddy material and/or workmanship that won’t be able to withstand the weight and endurance the structure itself will go through during its’ existence. Eventually, it will come crashing down around itself.

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---If we try to build a HUMAN life with shoddy materials and workmanship (the key elements that we spoke of in the last paragraph,) we, also, will be faced with a being who is shattered before his time unable to withstand the hurdles and pitfalls that come his/her way.

---The recipe of life has a healthy portion of the ingredients of love, support, being valued and being appreciated in it. There is NO scrimping on the materials (ingredients) necessary to create a good solid individual able to withstand all that life throws at him or her. Each time he/she interacts with love, being valued and being appreciated…the foundation ITSELF is strengthened and becomes more solid and stronger than it once was.

---Human needs are love, support, being valued and being appreciated. Self-knowledge, self-worth, self-esteem fit in there somewhere, also. If you treat everyone with KINDNESS all-the-time, then I'm sure that you do your part. BUT...herein lies the big rub - If these needs are not met convincingly, then we are usually faced with an individual who is seeking to get these needs met. He seems almost consumed with these needs. Addiction is NOT lurking too far away. When the HUMAN NEEDs are met, he then is ready to move up along Abraham Maslow's pyramid. Be Kind!.

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

WHAT IS BEING HEARD + TAKEN SERIOUSLY?

What Is Being Heard + Taken Seriously?

---Let us first state what we think that folks need to be heard and be taken seriously about. I think that most people want to know they are OKAY! That it is okay to be who they are. A simple ‘yes’ may NOT be sufficient. Folks need to be convinced that it is ALRIGHT to be who they are. Of course the answer is ‘yes’…but, it is amazing that when push really comes to shove…how much that FACT is NOT known.

---The unfortunate part that can happen is that one begins to compete + compare himself with his neighbor to discover the answer to this question. He looks AT his neighbor and answers his own question. He answers the question by knowing if he is doing better than the neighbor…or, if he’s a better person than his neighbor. The answer comes in terms of how he is doing compared to his neighbor and is really NOT the answer he is looking for. (It is about doing/being the best you possibly can be.)

---Being convinced that he is heard and taken seriously frees one to then leave that question behind and be secure with who one is. When someone truly knows that it is okay to be himself…NOT just in comparison to others, one begins to enjoy living fully. He no longer needs to prove what he hopes the answer to be…and moves on to enjoy his new found freedom.

---When one is truly heard and taken seriously…he now has more quality in his life. He has been freed from discovering that answer to the dynamic which plagues most people until they answer it. Am I ’GOOD ENOUGH?’ When he is convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that the answer is YES...he will be free. Until then, everything that he does will always have that as part of what he wants to know - am I good enough?

Previously Posted 3/15.